
When someone you know has depression.
BY SUSAN J. NOONAN
MY COMMENTARY
I read this book a couple of years ago when I discovered a close friend of mine was suffering from depression. It made me realize I was doing everything wrong. There was a list on the back page of things not to do or say; I did every single one of them! It taught me something incredibly important, which is to not assume you have the answers just because you don’t have that issue. That’s the epitome of ignorance, and that’s what I learned by reading this book; how ignorant of a friend I was despite my genuine attempt to help.
I hope this book brings encouragement and insight to those struggling and witnessing the effects of depression.
PAGE 4
[They] may believe that her current state is normal, and forget what they were like before the depression episode.
PAGE 12
Mood disorders are considered among the most disabling of all medical conditions... Don’t be disheartened. Depression is treatable and the symptoms can be managed.
PAGE 27
[Their] perception of the world becomes wildly inaccurate.
PAGE 13
Choosing a treatment plan for depression is complex and takes great effort.
PAGE 52
These automatic negative thoughts are extreme distortions in thinking and overwhelm a person’s reasoning.
PAGE 15
One long-held view is that depression disrupts chemicals called neurotransmitters that regulate emotions and behavior which can happen when certain life events occur in a susceptible person.
PAGE 19
Depression is different from grief, which has a focus; a beginning and an end.
PAGE 45
BLOCKS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING:
-
Making assumptions without facts
-
Mind reading
-
Filtering what they’re saying (not addressing certain parts)
-
Judging
-
Changing the subject to yourself or another topic
-
Comparing their experience to yours
-
Identifying (to your personal experience)
-
Rehearsing (focusing on what you’re going to say)
-
Giving advice
-
Sparring, put-downs, sarcasm, debating
-
Needing to be right
PAGE 51
Realistic optimism is a reasonable view of the future that involves hope and the confidence that things will turn out well, with enough hard work and determination.
PAGE 50
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great and no tonic so powerful as the expectation of something better tomorrow
- ORISON SWETT MARDEN
PAGE 62
Empty hours of unscheduled alone time frequently worsen the symptoms of depression.
PAGE 63
Use your understanding of the illness to cope, not to excuse unacceptable behavior.
PAGE 88
Regular exercise is often quite helpful in reversing the symptoms of fatigue.
PAGE 94
Having resilience means that your loved one learns effective ways of thinking and responding during difficult situations. Resilience involves having adaptive behaviors and coping skills such as problem-solving, managing stress, facing fears, mastering challenges, regulating emotions, and learning the consequences of behavior.
PAGE 102
Maybe you desire to escape the situation entirely. This can make you think you are selfish and unloving, which is certainly not true. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, you may need to take a break to take care of yourself.